Don’t dim your light: In Community #23

What others think of me is none of my business.

Last week, I wrote about my confidence problem. It connects to not only how I view success or failure but also how I view the way others perceive my success or failure.

As thinking, feeling, and all-too-often worrying human beings, we have a tendency to overemphasize or overestimate how much others are perceiving us – our behaviors, attributes, appearance, wins, or losses. And with that, we tend to place a disproportionately high value on that perception.

It’s called the Spotlight Effect. 

The Spotlight Effect can potentially lead to heightened stress and challenges across the board, but for those of us from historically excluded backgrounds, it can lead to situations in which high-pressure environments feel even higher pressure than they might have otherwise.

And the spotlight can result in us dimming our own lights.

This can especially come to life for us at work, where we’re often facing countless responsibilities, looming deadlines, and external perception on the daily.

So what can we do about it? 

Self awareness is a start. And with that, challenging our own beliefs and the stories we tell ourselves. 

👉🏽 For instance, am I giving a presentation to my leadership team with everyone watching me and judging my hair, my clothes, my intonation, and the words I use?

👉🏽 Or, am I using the opportunity to present as a way to show them that I’m the expert at what I do and that how I deliver that message is just as important as the message itself. Because no one out there can do it like I do or say it like I say. No one can shine as bright as I do in that moment.

👉🏽 So let this be your reminder that the spotlight may not be on you the way you think it is. It might just be there to help you benefit from – and bring out – the light you need to shine for yourself, and so those around you can see you.

And that brings me to this week’s Need to Know, with some inspiration from others making sure they’re seen for who they are and helping the rest of us be seen as clearly too.

A message from our partner, Zip

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Need To Know

💥 Jared McCain shines bright – and so do his nails. The 20-yo athlete shocks haters with a deal with Sally Hansen nail polish.

💥 “And you would do it too for a check – I was an employee!” Coco Jones is paving her own path.

💥 Watch Ramy Youssef rep Ramadan on SNL. As the month comes to a close, it’s the health hack you didn’t expect.